I only kidnapped one of them. chill
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
