Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
