Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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