I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize