I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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