if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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