Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
