Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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