I love black thongs
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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