you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
