People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
