he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
