Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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