i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
