I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
