? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize