At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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