I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize