I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
