you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
