Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
