Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize