the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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