did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
