No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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