Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
