i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
