You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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