I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize