I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
