Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
