you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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