I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
