Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
