Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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