Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
