you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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