Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize