Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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