the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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