This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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