I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
