i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
True strength comes from lack of pants
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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