oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
