I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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