We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
