I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
