Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
