Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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