just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
