I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
