I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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