Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
