4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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