i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize