Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
