i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
