so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize