I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
