life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
