I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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