Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
